Wilde Word.

My beautiful cousin posted this today, what a very good quote to be reminded of BBz!

Oh Oscar, I’d love to get shit faced with you in a pub, oh cruel time divide! Now that’s a blog post waiting to be written “people BP would love to get shit faced with” ….oh man there would even be sequel , maybe even a complete franchise ( I like a vino now and then, ok!? seesh…. )

Stay sexy Peeps, will write more when I have more time, whoot whoot!

Bp Xx

Happy Monday! *OR* people I’ve just remembered exist

So Tis the evening before monday and I sit in my house, perving on the internet clicking my mouse,

Trying to uncover the stars of the past, trying not to wake all with my screams of glee and my gasps..

Basically it’s my first ever “People I’ve just remember exist, and so, how can life not be good?” post. Of course most of my readers are aware that I am from old blighty, but for those of you that are reading thinking “who the hell is she on about?” please, take my word for it, Google them, bask in their glory…and you’re welcome! Feel free to let me know you’re additions to the list –

1. Mr Motivator-

Helping pensioners get healthy AND horny in a early morning ( before you argue, how do you think ladies of a certain age reacted to this sexy Jamaican man in spandex?!The man was made to please women damn him, and his magic working out thighs), Mr M made my mornings as a child. Where is this man? Why is he still not on my tv? Where did he go!? BRING HIM BACK DAMN IT!


Sometimes words aren’t enough, therefore-

and of course –

We’re totes going to ignore that little “remix” mishap of  “ready to go” not too long ago. Saffron, I miss you and your bat shit crazy hair, come home, call me?! Xx


If you’re sat there going…huh? who?! MY GOD DOWNLOAD IT NOW, POST HASTE I TELL THEE! Simply the greatest tv show made for teenagers out there…and to be fair for any girl worth her salt, who wasn’t in love with Trent? Trust Aunty BP, she loves you, this show won’t let you down.


Zippy and George!- oh yes, when I was little I was slightly obsessed with this sociopathic puppet and his downtrodden boyfriend ( let’s not lie, even at 3 years old we all knew what their bag was..) I remember going to see them in a show…one of the best days of my life…thanks Ma! <3 it ! Once again why is this not still on my tv!?

5. Captain Planet-

The sexiest blue skinned, green mullet owning groomer ever to steal my heart and make me actually bin my litter…where is he? I was promised a film damn it, where is said ( blatently going to be shit as Hollywood has no soul) film?! I want it now!

Sing it with me –

6. Rude dawg…and the dweebs

Look, I am not saying this list was going to be cool but if you have issues with it, yo dude, get rude.

7. PUGwall

You in the states may not know this show but in the UK we were blessed with a good import of Aussie goodies, best one being “pugwall”…simply amazing…I can still say it now “oh marmaloid!!!”

8. As I could be here all night and still not scratch the surface , the creme de la creme of the post –

LORD FLASH HEART- where have you been?  “where haven’t I been- WOOF!”

Every womans dream man, every mans dream man, basically a man but so much more, great facial hair ( even when hanging off his upper lip) lover of bearded bridesmaids and just all round sexpot, lord flash heart I <3 you ( I’ve always had such a crush on him!) –


Night night BBz, let me know yours, so many more posts to come on this subject!


I Want More Half Naked Men on tv and I Want Them Now.

Basically girls, if you can’t beat them, join them. Therefore I want, no, DEMAND my fair share of eye totty. I require my side of sexy, my daily in take of oiled up, gyrating, half starved and overly exercised man meat stylised to adhere to my marketing companies presumed gender preferences. And I want it now,not yesterday,now! 



Sexy and sensitive, girls like unicorns right? 

Seriously fuck page 3, I want the page 8 mate back and I want them to be bending over shit with overly tight “short shorts” with speech bubbles above their heads with “sexy malcolm is really worried about todays climate story” and I want us ALL to know, in unison as reaaders, that we have thought “oh sexy Malcolm, your toosh is out on show in the national paper, your opinion is only here for us to laugh about the fact that it does not matter”. I want dead eyed boys running around freezing their men tits off pretending to have fun just for my entertainment and sell me some shitty speakers I don’t need. I want to open a magazine and see men, as well as women subjected to my lazy desires. I want them draped over cars, music devices and even straddled on sticks of celery, as trust me, if you put a half naked man oiled up and riding celery, their is a 57% increase in the chance that I may consider buying it. 

I want every man on tv to look like they were extras on “300” screaming “this is spar! And we have a 3 for 2 offer!!”


I don’t want this because I need it, I just want it as I wonder what the people who do want girls doing this now would feel if it did happen. I’m not saying all men do, in fact most men don’t…who openly admits to reading “nuts” these days? I just wonder, if in joining them I would beat them or if in joining them I’d understand why it’s so damn necessary and request it continues for my pleasure….hmmmm



…..cooor! Hey it’s my blog, I’m allowed to perve on men if I want… 😉 

Bp xX