The Downward Spiral, who are you?! Maria..joan…

When I was younger and the internet was new ( yes dear readers I am old enough to remember dial up, going to friends houses to internet purge on their connection and even the day libraries first allowed it to become publicly available!) I was a fan of a website called…I won’t link to it as I am aware most people start their internet journey there, and it’s hardly positive (if you go there be prepared for violence and gore )  but whilst exploring the internet this woman appeared in my life…I loath to say that a decade on I still have no idea who she is, but if you can help let me know. Either way, this image alone will be used in my autobiography of things that I saw and that mattered in my formative years. At 17 I stared at each picture imagining how it happened and was thankful it wasn’t me. That concept always worries me you know, “thank god it’s not me”….but this is my first internet case of such a perception- 


No one will know how much I have researched her in an attempt to give her a name. I want to give her name, nothing more, her story is there, forced in your face.What more could any words say on her?! Either way, I wish I knew her story more. In London her face was used in anti heroin campaigns and now she is a face of anti meth…either way I don’t care what or who she is associated with, I just want to know who she I alone?! All my internet sleuthing has conjured up is that her name may be “Maria Romas” – not confirmed or “Joan” also not confirmed. One comment stated that she had found love and was happily drug free, yet another that she has hurt her own child in her quest to get high..the most likely ending I have found is that she is dead.


No matter what her story is I wish to know it, not to glorify it. This isn’t Catherine F. FFS…but who was this woman whose face is so commonly used as as a warning against drugs? Surely someone must know?!


I hope that you are alive and well and drug free…or dead and free of pain. What I dread is that I find it’s now 30 years and life is still this horrific for you my dear, and if it is, message me. I will do anything to help you. In fact any one in these circumstances, reach out to this silly blogger, as she for some reason wishes she could help Xxx