Well hello there my darlings!

How was Christmas, good? Bad? Ugly? Look, I ain’t judging if the only way you managed to cope is through copious amounts of booze or online shopping. I get it. I too have a family, and I know it can feel like WW3 when your all get together.

My Christmas was fabulous ( thank you for asking!) and I had a great time with the BP family getting trollied on Turkey and any alcohol we could find.

If you had a rubbish Christmas, booo urns! I am sending love and hope that you have a better one next year…

So I know I have been a bit quiet as of late but it has mainly been down to my new job and the fact that I live in London, my family is up north and my Partner is in the armed forces, therefore, my free time is minimal or spent on the tube getting annoyed at other fellow commuters. 

As it Christmas I need to provide you with a Christmas rant ( I know how you all love my inarticulate rants) So what caught my eye today was a post by blogger English mum on facebook, which is of the latest NOW! Magazines cover.

*trigger warning* – you will want to punch someone in the face.

Look, I will keep this brief. WOMEN IN PUBLISHING YOU NEED TO STOP POLICING WOMEN’S BODIES.

Secondly, women of the world, there is nothing “normal” about putting other women down to make you feel “normal“. In fact, that is the absolute height of being fucked up and makes you weak, insecure and a bully. Before you argue, think of all the bitchy nasty people you know, are they happy? Exactly.

By buying these magazines we are saying that we deserve this. That they are right, that they are perfectly correct to tell us that the “flabby belly” of chantelle is wrong.

Pfff….of course it is wrong Now magazine, I wish all of these women who have carried babies would stop milking it and just stick their fingers down their throats and go back to “normal” body sizes. How very dare they not be size zeros!…Because, you know, skinny people make a country and the world a much more successful and happy place, just ask Ethiopia, they are always banging on about women s bodies and becoming a fatty,fatty, fat, fat…( blatant sarcasm there people!blatant sarcasm)

So basically ladies, now magazine and the other tripe magazines out there are full of shit ( well actually, I presume not as obviously none of their staff must eat therefore have no need to excrete solids…) And if all you have to worry about in life is the size of your body and what people think of it, you must be the luckiest son of a gun in the world…otherwise, ignore this shit and focus your time and attention on the things that really matter, like being nice to each other and getting these idiots off their own pedestals and making the world an even better place.

I’m a fatty in their eyes and thank fuck for that, it must mean I have a personality and bigger things to worry about than what they think, go me. When my youth goes I will still rock, when theirs go…eekkk 😉 sorting out being skinny AND wrinkles? *snorts* poor puddings…

Stay sassy peeps. You rock. I said so, so it’s true.

BP Xxx