Hormones and Horoscopes, ahoy!

Warning – I will be discussing periods in this post. If that upsets or offends you, please do fuck off now. Thanks!

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I happen to be very educated in Horoscopes**, mainly as my Grandmother adored them and used to buy every magazine she could on the subject which in turn, I used to devour every evening after school. I am also partial to an almanac because of her interest in the mystic world and buy one every year, in fact I brought my 2019 one the other day – make of that fact what you will.

For those curious, I am a Pisces with a Sagittarius rising and a Pisces moon  (who is looking for an emotionally available Capricorn*, will settle for not emotionally available Capricorn, a Taurus and/or all water signs, apply via contact form or on the astral plane or just a bar – I’m pretty chilled about it all as well, I’m a Pisces!)

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Anyho – I digress, as the type of Horoscope I want to be discussing today is a Hormone Horoscope. “What is a Hormone Horoscope?” I hear you cry! Well dear reader, it’s something that I have been using to help understand my mental health better. The best part is that you can get it as an app for your phone and it’s free. (see below for recommended apps) 

“Hormone horoscope that reveals what your day will be like based solely on the ups and downs of the hormones in your monthly cycle”

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One of the joys of being born with a womb is that you get to have your period every few weeks which not only do you have to pay for – because gushing blood every month is super fun and worth every pink tax penny. It can also ruin many a fine pair of underwear as well as play havoc with one’s mental health, its the gift that keeps on giving. Especially, if you’re partial to the odd change in ones level of oestrogen and other lovely chemicals [Spoiler alert] I really, really am. Such an over achiever, I know. 

I am a firm believer in speech therapy and have found talking at someone for a whole hour at a time has actually helped me get to grips with what is actually going on in that beautiful little brain of mine. Sometimes, the councillor even gets to talk back (usually when I am drawing breath) and offers really useful advice. Which is how I discovered this amazing app. My councillor wanted me to begin tracking when I felt at my most anxious and depressed making sure to mark off the dates whilst referring to this app to help figure out how much my mood is affected by hormones and how much is my brain chemistry.

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Now, I am not saying that all my issues are directly connected to my hormones  but they do add to my stress levels if certain things are lower in my system when I am going through a very anxious or depressive phase. Having some insight on when certain items will be low in my body has helped spot patterns of behaviour, as well as make sure I can perform better self care on myself. When my horoscope is “You should be brighter and breeze today as you have high oestrogen in your system” and I am having high anxiety and potentially a little depressive cry as I ponder the bleakness of the void, I can mark that off in my calendar and spot the actual issues with my brain chemistry.

Where as before I could have blamed ye old crimson wave for my low mood, I can now spot when there is something concerning and thus should see a professional. When in doubt, do seek a professional out.

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Recommended apps:

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/hormone-horoscope-lite/id710914595?mt=8

https://www.myhormonology.com/hormone-horoscope-app-classic/

Fabulous Long read:

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/8qwpja/i-used-my-hormones-as-a-horoscope-and-it-worked

I recommend all my beautiful period having friends get the app , especially if you’re having mental health struggles as it really does help you get a grip of what is happening to you biologically. You’re welcome! 

Let me know what you think below or on ze social media channels…. Until next time beautiful people, stay sassy!

Love,Love1*Sniggers. Ok, Ok is there actually an example of an emotionally available Capricorn? Thought not..(love you really Capricorns…call me!)

**I’m a complete atheist so appreciate the fun of Horoscopes and am aware that there is no science behind them…and *yet* you gotta admit a lot of people are the stereotype of their sign. I’m 100% Pisces and OMG that is as traumatic as it sounds. 

Oh, well look what the Bunnypudding dragged in, herself.

Ahoy there, Sailors!

So it’s been a busy summer here in London Town and I endeavoured to enjoy as much of the sunshine as possible. Making sure to wear the highest factor sun protection and a hat at all times, Natch. Here is a quick run down of some of things I’ve pondering over my Summer break…I guess it’s welcome back, bitches! What have I missed?

 

Second hand clothes whore
I’ve always been a bit of a shopping addict and I especially love whittling down the hours rummaging through people’s throw always hoping to find a “diamond in the rough” as it were. When I do, I make sure to wear it to death. This is especially true of shoes as I am very heavy footed for such a tiny person. My current obsession is blazers and Afghan coats. I can’t get enough of them. BRING THEM TO ME.

Afghan coat fashion

Smug drunk face, ahoy! 

I’ve suddenly redeveloped my eBay habit as well. It’s terrible, especially as now there is an app and I get alerts. Am now going to investigate reselling as I seriously need to declutter my “petite” London flat. I’ll make sure to let you all know when I post anything. I discovered a abandoned mannequin outside the flat not to long ago so I’m going to put it to use*

 

Apathy ahoy!
I always try to be honest about mental health and this year has been a bit of a roller-coaster. By roller coaster, I mean having my heart ripped out and shattered several times. My main affliction currently being depression and apathy. I’m making strides in combating this and being more proactive and I am happy to say it’s doing some good. I have a habit of catastraphising things, which is a common trait in us anxious peeps and I am slowly learning to just take it one day at a time. Not everything that can, does go wrong.

That being said, it currently feels like it is, but again, everything is temporary and it will pass….one hopes.

Me on social media vs me real life

Don’t ever believe what social media tells you BBz – we all struggle <3

 

Cleaning. It’s fucking shit.
House work is wank. I don’t care what anyone else says. Yet, despite its horrors, I am trying to do as much of it as I can but I’m seriously tempted to obtain a cleaner. I mean, technically that would mean my laziness and obtaining of happiness is also supporting the economy, right? That’s surely a positive? Does anyone else have a cleaner? Is it worth the expense?

 

Soup maker and sobriety 
I’ve decided that I need to save money. By decided, I mean that I have no actual choice on the matter and needs must. Therefore, I have made the decision to stop drinking and socialising as much. It’s as much for my health as it is for my bank balance. To fill the time I’ve also decided to stop putting Deliveroo’s kids through college and proactively begin to make shopping lists and meal plans and **GASP** Brought a mother fucking soup maker.

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It’s a game changer people. I got the one that sautés the onions etc before you, erm…“Soup” in a flash sale on amazon. I’ve honestly discovered a new world of easy food choices AND I can just shove any veg that needs eating and et voila! Sooooup. #grateful I’ve also discovered I make a sensual lentil salad. Recipes welcomed! Post links below.

Sweep stakes open on how long it takes for this health kick to end at the bottom of a bargain bucket and bottle of processco

Chiao chiao

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*Not that she isn’t currently at use, she is the proud barer of the Miss Greggs 2017 Sash. She looks stunning.

Birthdays, ahoy!

So it’s been my Birthday this fortnight and I am of course dealing with this aging malarkey really well. My liver, not so much, but it needs to stop moaning. I am fortunate enough to have a group of very close gal pals living here in London from back home (Home being more of an “experience” rather than a “place” –  Stoke – on – Trent.) We love to make any excuse to go for piss-up and my Birthday was a perfect reason to pop a prosecco evening into the social calendar and this time as an extra treat, the Mothership also made an appearance. She drank us under the table. Like Mama, like daughter.

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Me and the gals. I appear to have shrunk in this picture. 

 

It really is wonderful to have four people who know me better than anyone and therefore, have all my dirty secrets tucked away in mental files in their wonderfully complex brains under the category “Never reveal to anyone – she has too much dirt on you too” just a mini jaunt away. It’s good for the soul.

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I can only hold my model pose for so long.

I share a Birthday week with one of my oldest partners in crime, so naturally, all five of us continued to spend the week celebrating, as of course two birthdays means double the effort is required socially.

This is fun and super fabulous as it happens but afterwards, I am left with the depressing thought that now the party is over, and sadly it’s now time for my annual “Let’s get healthy!” period.  Eugh! This is where I attempt to stop eating pies and drinking larger and try to find my inner fitness gurus (Yes Gurus, they have to tag team as it’s a hard job). Thus far, I have started hula hopping again in front of the TV. It’s all about strengthening your core after all.

Health kick in mind, I suppose it is for the best that Greggs wouldn’t give me a chicken bake for my Birthday, but remember kids, it’s aways worth asking!

 

If you want to enjoy more of my exciting social footprints, please feel free to socially stalk me. I’ve been told more than once that I give good social. I’m inclined to agree.

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Actual footage of me at the gym. 

I’m sure I am not the only one doing health kick, so I have to ask  – do any of you manage to stick it out – if so, how?! Seriously, I wanna know!

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Ps. I also have some fabulous news which will be coming in my next post…but safe to say I had the best Birthday gift ever this year! Xx