Anxiety,ahoy! Life Lessons on Unfucking yourself

Hi Huns,

I am currently lying on my bed with deep heat rub on my stomach as I can’t find the hot water bottle or pain killers, feeling sorry for myself. Yip, it’s that time of the month and yip, I am as irritable as hell. The best thing about this whole experience is the overwhelming despair I’ve had for three days. Hu-fucking-rah. Therefore, rather than allow myself to fall into the hormonal (or maybe emotional, ala my last post – we can never be too sure these days) pit of despair, I thought I’d make myself feel better by laying here on my bed in my flowing bathrobe surrounded by both cats – like the old Victorian lady I really am and share some life lessons with you beautiful creatures.

funny period meme

Today’s life lessons are about how to attempt to stop hurting yourself and not allowing other fuckers to do so. Basically, how to not “chase the pain”- which is something I am no professional in but happen to be the super, bestest, greatest, so “good I got a masters in it”, at chasing within my own life. What can I say, I gotz skillz.

So, what is chasing the pain? Sometimes in life situations such as jobs, relationships and friendships, we stay in situations that are not healthy for us. It’s where we encourage and allow/repeat negative behaviours which then begin to rule our lives. Where we allow ourselves to believe the negative thoughts or even, seek out more as we feel safer being disappointed more than we do on moving forward. Below are a few examples of red flags which you may be able to spot in your own behaviours and how you can change your future actions or even, just leave the situation. I start a bit light hearted but my god, its true!

If it makes you consult your tarot deck/horoscope/any other “clarity craft” about this subject more than once a month, it’s probably not the best thing for you

mae west funny fortuneteller meme

“Will they come back into my life?”

“Will they finally give me a pay raise after two years”…

“Are they going to get their comeuppance”

You know exactly what I am talking about, Susan – if you’re seeking clarity on a situation you are in from elsewhere, then go find something/someone else that wants to keep you informed, enlightened and appreciated without resorting to constantly seeking third party.. If you have to attempt to make sense of the actions of something or someone constantly, then the subject you’re asking for advice on is probably a massive bellend rather than anything else at play in the situation. You should always know where you stand.

If it makes you cry, it’s not a healthy situation to be in.

kim kardashian crying meme

Honestly, anything that makes you shed tears regularly isn’t a perfect partner, dream job or best friend. It’s something that is ruining your chances of being happy and being the best you can be. If I thought I made anyone ugly face cry, I’d be a broken woman. Causing emotional damage is never good and anyone who treats people’s feelings like that are basically, walking human buttholes.
Please note if you work in a kitchen with lots of onions, you have a loop here and can jump to the next tip.

Social stalking isn’t smart

stalking

Yes, checking their social media will help you know what your former bestie/lover is up too and that they are alive but we all know it’s going to hurt your little heart when you see them actually happy without you – If they actually cared they would be in touch and as they uploaded pictures from their phone onto their feed – you know it ain’t broke, boo. It’s brutal and I’ve been there and it aches but you know I speaketh the truth.

I’ve had so many friend call me in tears over doing this and of course I’ve done it myself (ok, ok, a lot – consider me an emotional scab picker) and it always hurts. The worst part? How your imagination will then hurt you more than anything else you see on their accounts imaging what they are up too or even worse imagining false knowledge –

“They can’t be happy? I know how sad they really are!”
“They look miserable with them”

The cold hard truth I’ve had to tell them, and myself – If they wanted you in their life, you’d be in their feed and not someone else. Maybe they are those things but either way, you’re not the person they have let know about it. I’m sorry it hurts, poppet.

It’s the same for jobs. If you’ve moved on stop stalking old co-workers or former employers – the only competition you should have is with yourself. So what if they are doing good? You have plenty of time to build your brand and make the career you want to happen.

Now, go make new adventures and take fabulous pictures make positive memories to populate your life and feed with. The best revenge is to live well.

 

If you’re always waiting to be a priority, you are not and are never going to be a priority.

 

priority 1

This is pretty hard to learn and live but it’s so true. If they wanted to keep you on the team they would show you and not offer excuses or false promises. If they saw you as an important friend they would take a second to text back if they knew you were in trouble/sad/acknowledge that you’d tagged them in a very fucking funny meme. If they want to be with you, they will make it known – relationships where someone is always sitting, waiting and wishing are heartbreaking and usually only for one person. What I do know about love is that if it’s true, they would be upset to ever make you feel unimportant, it’s present when it’s with you and it doesn’t go anywhere.

Look after that muscle of yours, it’s a sacred gift to give to anything in your life. Don’t give it to those who don’t appreciate it.

 

If it makes you doubt yourself and be challenged in a negative way constantly – go,go,go!

bye bitch

The biggest critic in your life is actually you, so don’t allow that inner critic to be fed by other negative energies. I have left jobs because of this and it was a hard lesson to learn. Where as before I’d try to be nicer to the bitch, I’d work later to get the project done (even though they over sold it and knew the team couldn’t do it without unpaid over time) I’d do two jobs at once… now I call out crap and vote with my feet. Going freelance can be life changing!

The same should be in relationships. I was in a mentally abuse relationship a long time ago and my God, what those people can do to the strongest of minds and the kindest of hearts. If someone spends all day tell you how shit you are, they are the failure, not you. If you’re that bad why do they bother? Why can’t they be supportive? Just don’t even try to please these people, just leave – anyone who says you would be nothing without them is wrong. I can 100% tell you that you will in fact be sad at first and then happier and stronger than you have ever been before. Listen to me kid, I got ya back. You’re gonna be ok.

Anyway, I am now off to cry/laugh as I watch Will and Grace and drink tea whilst simultaneously hating and loving being a woman at the same time.

Love,Love1

Ps. if any of you are in any negative situations and needs support get in touch as I have a list of fabulous support groups and channels which I am more than happy to share

Oh, well look what the Bunnypudding dragged in, herself.

Ahoy there, Sailors!

So it’s been a busy summer here in London Town and I endeavoured to enjoy as much of the sunshine as possible. Making sure to wear the highest factor sun protection and a hat at all times, Natch. Here is a quick run down of some of things I’ve pondering over my Summer break…I guess it’s welcome back, bitches! What have I missed?

 

Second hand clothes whore
I’ve always been a bit of a shopping addict and I especially love whittling down the hours rummaging through people’s throw always hoping to find a “diamond in the rough” as it were. When I do, I make sure to wear it to death. This is especially true of shoes as I am very heavy footed for such a tiny person. My current obsession is blazers and Afghan coats. I can’t get enough of them. BRING THEM TO ME.

Afghan coat fashion

Smug drunk face, ahoy! 

I’ve suddenly redeveloped my eBay habit as well. It’s terrible, especially as now there is an app and I get alerts. Am now going to investigate reselling as I seriously need to declutter my “petite” London flat. I’ll make sure to let you all know when I post anything. I discovered a abandoned mannequin outside the flat not to long ago so I’m going to put it to use*

 

Apathy ahoy!
I always try to be honest about mental health and this year has been a bit of a roller-coaster. By roller coaster, I mean having my heart ripped out and shattered several times. My main affliction currently being depression and apathy. I’m making strides in combating this and being more proactive and I am happy to say it’s doing some good. I have a habit of catastraphising things, which is a common trait in us anxious peeps and I am slowly learning to just take it one day at a time. Not everything that can, does go wrong.

That being said, it currently feels like it is, but again, everything is temporary and it will pass….one hopes.

Me on social media vs me real life

Don’t ever believe what social media tells you BBz – we all struggle <3

 

Cleaning. It’s fucking shit.
House work is wank. I don’t care what anyone else says. Yet, despite its horrors, I am trying to do as much of it as I can but I’m seriously tempted to obtain a cleaner. I mean, technically that would mean my laziness and obtaining of happiness is also supporting the economy, right? That’s surely a positive? Does anyone else have a cleaner? Is it worth the expense?

 

Soup maker and sobriety 
I’ve decided that I need to save money. By decided, I mean that I have no actual choice on the matter and needs must. Therefore, I have made the decision to stop drinking and socialising as much. It’s as much for my health as it is for my bank balance. To fill the time I’ve also decided to stop putting Deliveroo’s kids through college and proactively begin to make shopping lists and meal plans and **GASP** Brought a mother fucking soup maker.

soup maker_LI

It’s a game changer people. I got the one that sautés the onions etc before you, erm…“Soup” in a flash sale on amazon. I’ve honestly discovered a new world of easy food choices AND I can just shove any veg that needs eating and et voila! Sooooup. #grateful I’ve also discovered I make a sensual lentil salad. Recipes welcomed! Post links below.

Sweep stakes open on how long it takes for this health kick to end at the bottom of a bargain bucket and bottle of processco

Chiao chiao

bunnypudding signature

*Not that she isn’t currently at use, she is the proud barer of the Miss Greggs 2017 Sash. She looks stunning.

The Downward Spiral : Part Two

Hello Darlings,

One of my earlier blog posts was about a subject that really touched my heart, and I know from the lovely messages I’ve received about it in the years since, that it also touched a lot of other people too. I am talking about the downward spiral – Which is the name of a series of images used in a anti drug campaign of a young girl’s mug shots over the course of a few years showing her decent into the pit of drug addiction.

It’s sobering viewing and it really did make me think when I was younger…to the point that I am writing about it now!

I always promised that I’d update if I found out more and I am happy to say that according to writer Jamie Saari Crawford on her website, she is in fact alive and well. Jamie states on her site:

She is a little perplexed about why anyone would care about her story and I explained that there are hundreds of people around the world who have reached out to me for updates over the years. She sees a lot of pain in these photographs.

She has an incredible story to tell and I plan to travel to her in the near future to meet, learn more about her story and hopefully create something in writing or on video that changes the way people look at people suffering from addiction. She has so much wisdom to share with the world.

Speaking to her today felt like I was speaking to a long, lost friend. I look forward to announcing when and how she would like her story told. Everything is going to be done with dignity and respect for her and her family.

 

To get the full story visit Jamie’s blog. I really hope this is for real and that there is a happy ending to this tale, it really would be a pleasant surprise. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this update as well!

Birthdays, ahoy!

So it’s been my Birthday this fortnight and I am of course dealing with this aging malarkey really well. My liver, not so much, but it needs to stop moaning. I am fortunate enough to have a group of very close gal pals living here in London from back home (Home being more of an “experience” rather than a “place” –  Stoke – on – Trent.) We love to make any excuse to go for piss-up and my Birthday was a perfect reason to pop a prosecco evening into the social calendar and this time as an extra treat, the Mothership also made an appearance. She drank us under the table. Like Mama, like daughter.

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Me and the gals. I appear to have shrunk in this picture. 

 

It really is wonderful to have four people who know me better than anyone and therefore, have all my dirty secrets tucked away in mental files in their wonderfully complex brains under the category “Never reveal to anyone – she has too much dirt on you too” just a mini jaunt away. It’s good for the soul.

lolz

I can only hold my model pose for so long.

I share a Birthday week with one of my oldest partners in crime, so naturally, all five of us continued to spend the week celebrating, as of course two birthdays means double the effort is required socially.

This is fun and super fabulous as it happens but afterwards, I am left with the depressing thought that now the party is over, and sadly it’s now time for my annual “Let’s get healthy!” period.  Eugh! This is where I attempt to stop eating pies and drinking larger and try to find my inner fitness gurus (Yes Gurus, they have to tag team as it’s a hard job). Thus far, I have started hula hopping again in front of the TV. It’s all about strengthening your core after all.

Health kick in mind, I suppose it is for the best that Greggs wouldn’t give me a chicken bake for my Birthday, but remember kids, it’s aways worth asking!

 

If you want to enjoy more of my exciting social footprints, please feel free to socially stalk me. I’ve been told more than once that I give good social. I’m inclined to agree.

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Actual footage of me at the gym. 

I’m sure I am not the only one doing health kick, so I have to ask  – do any of you manage to stick it out – if so, how?! Seriously, I wanna know!

lovelove

Ps. I also have some fabulous news which will be coming in my next post…but safe to say I had the best Birthday gift ever this year! Xx

 

 

 

 

 

Bunnypudding does exercise for charity

Hello BBz,

So I have decided that this year I will try to do more charitable things. I found that I had become someone who allowed myself to let “life get in the way” so often that I hadn’t actually done as much positive endeavours in my recent “life” as one would feel necessary. Unsure where to begin I started with the most instant thing I could think of – Sponsoring a little girl via https://plan-uk.org/sponsor-a-child

plan-international-logo

For £20 a month I get to sponsor a little girl called Anma and support her access to heath care and education. It literally took me 10 minutes to sign up and to be honest, I’d almost forgotten I’d done it when I received my welcome pack with a picture of her and information about her life. It was a very odd feeling and I highly recommend doing it if you have a few spare pounds. I received my first letter from her charity worker this week and I am looking forward to sending one back. A very happy letter correspondence indeed….oh there is a History, Ahoy! in that subject I think!

I’ve also made the mistake (big mistake, huge) of being overly confident and agreeing to suffer immensely take part in the Shelter Vertical Rush challenge on 9th March. This is also the day before my Birthday so I am hoping that rather than Birthday presents, I get a few sponsors to compensate for the fact that I am dreading it.

vertical-rush-logo

I am certainly going to have to start fundraising as its 4 weeks away, so any creative fundraising ideas are welcomed. I am willing to try anything once! Living in London you really do see homeless first hand and I walk post people sleeping on the street in Central London in tents every day. It breaks my heart that there are still situation like this in the country, but every little helps as you can see below. I just need to get myself down to the gym to exercise, otherwise I can imagine myself being carried up by the rest of my team (sorry in advance peeps!) 16426106_1074813472664199_4473458262739919456_n

Have any of you done anything charity related of late? If so I want to know, especially how you managed to keep going when it training….I am so weak when it comes to going to gym, Sob!

Love, love, always

Bp Xx

I finally obtain a computer

Hello My darlings,

I finally have a laptop. It’s not amazing but I have already grown fond of hearing its little hum as it slowly turns obsolete in this fast paced digtial word. Thus far I have managed not to cover it in nail polish art and stickers, but it is only a matter of time.

 

Design from Nicotinequeen. 

At the minute I am taking some time off from work to write this post and watch “Made In Chelsea” ( yes I am one of those people) as I am leaving my current job next week so just typing up some protocols. It’s only when you have to put everything down do you realise how much you have learnt. Goodtimes huh?

Anyways my lovelies, I do hope that you are well and I will leave you with a few funnies, because this is my blog, that’s why.

 

I feels ya.

If ever a picture ever summed me up

 

It’s this! Malaprop people unite.

We all have a tale to tell kid.

 

Bit of trivia for you, I used to play flute. Toot.

 

Cheerio BP Xx

Happy New Year and shiz

Hello BBz,

How was your Christmas and New Year? Mine as usual was not to plan, but luckily didn’t involve A&E. Otherwise, I am all good in the hood and I will fill you in on my absence at some point but until then, let’s keep it light darlings!

Stepping away from the traditional “New Years Resolution” post, that is almost as important to the blogging calendar as the “yearly round up” and the “something hundreth” posts ( I am aware of the irony that my last post was in fact a “hundreth” post ) I’ve decided to meme it up baby, in celebration of the reality of New years. Enjoy!

New Years Eve Memes

I can relate to this most weekends –

I will never understand  why this is, but it is so true, 2010 sucked but I still remember some of my best nights out! –

I did change my hair though-

One of my faves from facebook-

I kid, I kid. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a bit of self reflection, and a few of my co- workers really stuck to their resolutions in 2014, and have inspiring results so I am planning some resolutions, but I will list them end of Feb. I want to see which ones I am sticking to easier, and keep doing them for 2015. Keeps the pressure off if you whittle the list down  a few weeks in, and continue the quest with resolutions you are actually keeping. Basically, renegotiating with you “new” self!

I hope that you have wonderful Holidays, I love hearing how other people spend Christmas. And remember –

Don’t feel bad if you have fallen off the wagon in your new year changes, just congratulate yourself when you get back on the wagon.

Have a great evening lovelies.

Love, love BP XX