Guest Blogger: A ditty

I received this little ditty the other day from the lovely Jade at www.mylifeinshit.com if you haven’t checked her out please do, it will have you in stitches and as we all know I appreciate a “to the point blogger” as, well,
we all know I am “waffle on” blogger ( that sounded so much ruder than it meant to!) Enjoy the below and should it move you, respond with ditties of your own, I love a good poem ( dirty limericks earn an extra ten bunnypoints)

 
So, here I am on the blogosphere,

 

Cursing a friend for a bright idea.
 
For she challenged me to use my wit.
To write a blog called my life in shit.
 
It seemed alright, after a few.
 To sit and write about a bit of spew.
I’m sure my scribes are simply insane.But my mind is blocked, a disused brain.
See, it’s all about baby and me.
I even forget to eat or pee.
 
To find the time to think with child,
Is fucking hard and that’s putting it mild.
 
So here you go my lovely Bunny,

I hope you find me remarkably funny!

 

 

 

(A.N: She did Jade!)  <3  BP Xx

Guest post: Internet Muppetry.

Every now and then I will open my blog to the wealth of blogging talent that is out there in the yonder blogosphere. Today’s post is from the wonderful Jade at mylifeinshit.com

If you haven’t started following yet, do it now post haste!

Internet Muppetry.
I don’t know, or I don’t remember the cut off point that resulted in me being a total idiot of the tech,  I seem to recall starting off extremely well in school, but alas now everything seems beyond my brain and its very limited capabilities.
It was way before the child arrived so I don’t have that as an excuse, however now I’m plus one the fog is defiantly thicker than it used to be.  So, whatever part of the grey matter possessed me to become a blogger I bloody wish the same lightbulb would spur itself on to learn a bit more about the gubbins that goes with.

I have been very fortunate to have been introduced to some interesting folks, home and abroad who would like me to guest post, review and generally make a nuisance of myself on their own sites and blogs. I am thankful for this, but seriously folks… Are you aware of what you have let yourselves in for?

I used to love English but was always graded below my estimate, nobody seemed to agree that Juliet needed a slap and that Atticus Finch was an imaginary hottie!  I hardly ever answer emails, I’m half illiterate, I swear too much,  I rant far more, I’m a grumpy, post natal depressed, neurotic mother of one who is constantly on the brink of falling asleep standing up.  Moreover,  I get far worse after wine!

 

Kamara-ra-rasputin

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens and all that jazz. We all have something that no matter what grey mood we are in always manages to cheer us up ( even the grumpiest of people. Nothing makes a grumpy person happy quite as much as knowing their grumpiness is effecting everyone in the room..trust me I work in marketing- *ahem* I mean my boyfriends is a full time grumpy pants) As  Ms.Golightly would say:

Oh, that too but I meant:

And today I want to share my Tiffany’s with you. Even as I type a titter starts to erupt in me like a catholic school girl in a rather disappointing sex – ed class. Every time I watch this clip I laugh, even when the boy was away on tour for 7 months and I had lost my job and was feeling completely full of woe, clicking this video and watching all of it’s glory always made me smile:

Chris Kamara, I <3 you

Xx

Foot Meets Mouth

Sometimes I honestly wish I could rip that loose screw right out of my head or at least give myself a good old mental floss.  My problem you see is that I am a waffler. I waffle more than the Dutch but with less butter and extra ridiculousness. It’s like I get a thought in my head and as much as I try to express it I find I have lost the powers of articulation, my ability to surmise and it all just gets lost in translation. This has happened a lot recently and maybe that is why I have started this blog. So I can waffle on to often anonymous people who are outside of the situation enough that maybe from reading they can identify a common trait and for a single moment I am not as alone as I presume myself to be…not that I am depressed or sad but you get whatta I mean ja? It happens from time to time that I come across a blog, read it and for a minute I really do connect with that person be it a new mummy from London or a web developer discussing irate customers and that’s what I love about blogging…Alas the real world isn’t a blog and comments cannot be deleted and foots generally do need to be surgically removed from between my chops.

I guess Ms Kahlo said it best :

 

Image

 

 I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.

Which leads us to now. I have managed to waffle on for several hundred words and I literally haven’t gotten anywhere.Case and point on the waffling front.

DOH! 

Happy Friday!…ummmmmm…?!!

This morning did not get off to a good start, firstly I was hungover. Secondly I thought it was Friday only to be rudely informed that it was in fact Thursday :

Thirdly I spilled my first coffee of the morning all over myself before I even had a sip…and yes it is safe to presume that I am a bitch from the seventh circle of hell when I haven’t had my caffeine and finally to top it all I had a row with the boyfriend.

Well done me! I’d only been up a bloody hour but hey ho I am out of bed and dressed, what more do people want?

And here we are, with me grumpy and considering my next course of action due to my original plan of being a productive happy human being has gone horribly wrong. This contingency plan mainly consists of me eating my own weight in comforting snacks whilst drinking tea and generally being a mis-hog ( yes, you heard me, mis-hog….as in miserable hog, it is a Stokie phrase, it’s brilliant and you’re welcome 🙂 )

But still, we’re half way through the day ( tis lunch) I am alive  and I have mochas on tap.

Things could be worse. I could be the guy that does the voice of Elmo…(Seriously dude, just ASK to see their I.d) or

*shudders*

Shabba, Chamone and Salutations

I have spent the past week wondering how exactly to start this blog. Whilst spending the whole weekend  procrastinating I have just decided to just well, write.

I am a 20 something currently living in the centre of England and that’s pretty much all we need to start with right? Oh I guess knowing my job would be useful too..Often I am asked, what is it you do exactly? This usually happens at buffets tables where I then proceed to try to de jargonise the description of my job without letting the siren call of a plate of cocktail sausages to the left of me put me off my trail of thought. Usually I fail at this and end up comfort eating said sausages (and pineapple chunks on sticks, selection of sandwiches and the whole bowl of mixed flavoured crisps) whilst apologising to the glazed eyed person who really just wanted me to say “in I.T”. Therefore let’s say I work in on-line marketing which is neither as glamorous or technical as it may sound…mainly because like with most boom industries there is always a sector of people willing to sell their skills and knowledge with out, well actually having any skills nor knowledge but we will get to those sorts later on I am sure but let’s just say they annoy me a lot.

So yes, I am bunnypudding and I work in the tinternet and to make matters worse I am also a military wag…so not only do I have a job that no one gets I also have a second personal life job which…well no one actually gets. Hence this blog I guess and now the first entry is out of the way let’s start the fun stuff…Where’s the wine? I think we are all in agreement that it is in fact wine ‘o’ clock? welcome to my world!